Certainly uncertain…

Kettle Corn? Check 
DDP*? Check
Let’s roll…                                      
 
There are days that feel certainly uncertain. I’m sure you know them. Days in which you feel like you are moving in a million different directions, but not really getting anywhere – and did you really know where you were trying to go in the first place? 
 
When life redirects you from the path you had precisely paved in your mind, through dreams and plans, you can feel very ‘stuck’ – helplessly stalled on the road you were traveling down, car all packed and ready, without roadside assistance. Now you may have to change plans. How will you continue on? In which direction will you go? How will you travel? What will you bring with you from this place
 
When I stalled, and it was a big one, I spent many months on the side of the road processing the raw emotions often associated with these sorts of setbacks. I let myself feel it all, and it was heavy. It was also necessary. And then…I finally just started to unpack. 
 
For over a year I have been actively unpacking. I wanted to make certain that I wasn’t bringing with anything that wasn’t necessary on this unexpected next leg of my journey. When you have to travel alone you can only bear a certain load. You need to determine the ‘needs’ that will truly serve you in your trek from this spot. The basics have served me well in this process, and as I continue to log the miles it’s beginning to feel much lighter. The strength I’ve gained allows me to move a bit steadier. I’m understanding the language more each day and the landscape is becoming not only familiar, but comfortable. 
 
Stall-outs come in all shapes and sizes. The particularly uncertain days that follow require a form of patience that you must dig deep into your core for. I’ve decided that the purpose of the ‘days of uncertainty’ is to ensure that you don’t rush into the wrong direction too quickly, but instead forces you to discover, layer by layer, exactly who you are and where you’re supposed to be heading next. We know ourselves in the context of our current ‘place’. Some of what we think we know about ourselves is based upon how we co-exist with others. It’s often comfy in that place and getting out of that warm bed on a chilly morning and stepping out onto the cold floor just isn’t appealing. 
 
As it turns out, the road map lies within us…and our destination is not to be pre-determined, but to be discovered. Your ‘destination’ is ever-changing and is revealed to you, bit by bit, as you continue to uncover your self, what you’re made of. Once you embrace these life lessons, the next leg of your journey appears more clearly to you…and you move forward. You move on city by city, region by region, and the souvenirs you collect along the way – the character gained – are those you may never have stumbled upon had you remained tied to your initial route. 
 
I am forced to remind myself of this often, when I’m in that state of unrest or anxiousness. The approach contradicts me on some level. I’ve learned, for me, it will be a constant working balance. Fortunately, there is enough ‘gypsy blood’ in this body to know that…

…’Not all those who wander are lost’ – J.R.R. Tolkien
 
Cheers!
 

*DDP = Diet Dr. Pepper, expressive fuel of choice. 

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